Ep 52: Rosh HaShanah 5782 and our 1st Anniversary

As the Jewish new year, Rosh Hashanah, approaches, we think about the year that was, and reflect on ways to improve while still holding ourselves tenderly. 

Check out our discussion/reflection questions for this episode: www.joyousjustice.com/blog/jews-talk-racial-justice-ep-52

Find April and Tracie's full bios and submit topic suggestions for the show at www.JewsTalkRacialJustice.com

Learn more about Joyous Justice where April is the founding and fabulous (!) director, and Tracie is a senior partner.: https://joyousjustice.com/

Read more of Tracie's thoughts at her blog, bmoreincremental.com

Check out our first ever episode of Jews Talk Racial Justice here: https://joyousjustice.com/blog/jews-talk-racial-justice-ep-1-join-the-conversation-from-the-beginning

Learn more about Rosh HaShanah and its traditions here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/rosh-hashanah-101/

Read more about Alan Morinis and the book Everyday Holiness here: https://mussarinstitute.org/books-by-alan-morinis-faculty/

Learn more about the origins of the phrase “gamzu l’tovah” here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nachum_Ish_Gamzu

Preview what a Shemita year is here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/what-is-shemita-the-sabbatical-year/

Transcript

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- [Tracie] As we approach Rosh Hashanah, and the New Year 5782, we reflect on ways to work toward improvement without getting stuck in self-recrimination.- [April] This is Jews Talk Racial Justice with April and Tracie.- [Tracie] A weekly show hosted by April Baskin, and Tracie Guy-Decker.- [April] In a complex world, change takes courage.- [Tracie] Wholehearted relationships can keep us accountable.- Tracie, Rosh Hashanah 5782, thank you for the reminder.(April laughing) Is upon us.- Yes.- And yeah, so yay for the head of the new year for the Jewish spiritual New Year for each of us individually and collectively. And it is also the anniversary, the Jewish anniversary of the launch of our podcast. This is our 52nd episode.- Yeah.(Tracie and April cheering) We made it and we're still here, and I think we're better for it, thanks to our wonderful duo that we have going here, Tracie Guy-Decker.- Yeah, I know I'm better for it.(April laughing)- Yeah, my life's definitely better for it. So this is a special episode. And we've thought of some things we'd like to discuss. And as usual, we have a general frame, and we'll see, as we talk how it evolves in the context of conversation, and we have a juicy theme that I'm interested in us unpacking with you, our beloved listener, hey, what's up L'shana tovah, so glad you're here. So first I wanted to say before we dive into the main topic that we'll get into in a few minutes of(April sighing) I don't know about you, Tracie, but I think definitely for each of us in our own ways, and definitely what we've seen collectively, many folks are sort of stumbling or walking in exhausted. Transitioning into the new year. Having barely made it.(April laughing)- Yeah.- Through the past year, so-- Yeah, I thought 5780 was hard, but 5781-- Yeah, so did a lot of people.(Tracie laughing)- Yeah, I feel like I was like, man, that was the worst year ever. And the universe was like, hold my beer.(Tracie laughing)(April laughing) Yeah, yeah.- Just warming up, baby. Yeah, and so we have a really yummy discussion plan, but I thought it was worthwhile just to acknowledge the feelings in the room.- Right.- Right now of probably a range of different emotions, I hope for some of you, there's a bit of a sense of pride and/or relief of in spite of how difficult things have been that we made it. And that for the most part, we don't have a ton to atone for that we've managed to keep our integrity and our good spirits even through trying times. And yeah, and so I just I wanted to say a couple things here and Tracie, I welcome you to also think of some things to share. Here's my take is a lot's gone down and some of it's been great and some of it, a lot of it has been good enough to get through. And in the midst of some of that good enough, some things have fallen through the cracks, some potentially really painful things and/or really awful situations in different ways. And so my invitation to you, my friend, beloved listener is obviously for us not to abstain from cheshbon ha'nefesh or skip it of accounting of the soul. But to really this year especially notice that we can have a both/and of being gentle and courageous and loving with ourselves all at the same time and keep a holistic view of everything, not as a way to excuse certain things, but for us to see us in our fullness and our beauty and our complexity, because an easier way to approach things because of how many or most of us have been conditioned in our society is through heavy judgment or criticism. I know at times I generally do things that I feel proud of, but last year I remembered something that I was remiss in doing for someone I really love. And the immediate shame I felt, which is not a typical feeling for me, but when it comes to the stuff that really matters, my point is that it's really important that we remain gentle and loving with ourselves, and that doesn't preclude us from also being courageous and keeping our eyes open and being considerate, but that it does actually help us to be as courageous as we can be. If we remember one of the core tenets of Rosh Hashanah, which is our inherent goodness, and that at times we stray or we don't prioritize things as we should or make not great choices, but that loving open presence is really important. And so just really want us to encourage ourselves because I know in my experience, there's a propensity in our community kind of to do one of two things I find it's often to be overly harsh and really hard and kind of punish ourselves, which doesn't help. Like we need to actually, if there's repair that needs to be done, we can do that. But to do the reflection and do that work or a shadow pattern is just to kind of pretend it didn't happen and ignore it altogether- Yeah.- And hope it gets swept under the rug. And there's a middle path, there's a different, there's a middle or different path of not engaging in self-rebuke and actually saying, I love myself, I understand my inherent goodness, which makes this situation all the more perplexing and let's unpack it. But we've been through a lot, a number of us have lost a lot, and so to holding ourselves tenderly feels important.- What's coming up for me is that a lesson I'm learning. I'm reading the book called Everyday Holiness by Dr. Alan Morinis, who is the founder of the Mussar Institute, this my Elul practice and I'm learning a lot, it's really, really fascinating, but the thing that's really coming up for me right now that you're talking about, he talks about Rachamim, compassion, which is always in the plural and notes that compassion, at least from a Jewish understanding is active. It has an action associated with it, it's not just a feeling, like the feeling is empathy, but the action makes it compassion and we can have that for ourselves as well. And that doesn't necessarily mean coddling, he makes a point that it can be compassionate to defend boundaries, like that can be an act of compassion. So it's not about sort of like letting ourselves off the hook, but that there is action to be taken. And that's really what's coming up for me when you're talking about sort of understanding the full container that was 5781 the year we're closing out on and how we behaved in it. And the other thing that comes up for me also from Dr. Morinis' book is the idea that life is a curriculum and we each have our own. And what we're learning.- Mm-hmm.- What our learning edge is, is different for all of us, but we all have one and we always will'cause that is what life is.- Yes.- Yeah, it just feels really comforting is not exactly the right word, but it kind of is comforting in terms of- Yeah.- What you're pointing to, you know, that like he points out the fact that different people have different, you know, like he uses a single thing, like he talks about stealing and someone who was raised by thieves has a different curriculum around stealing, you know, and around property than someone who was raised, you know, to really respect other people's stuff. But that doesn't mean there isn't a curriculum for both of them.- Right.- And so like the thief, do they protect other people's bodies and souls while thieving? Anyway, that was an interesting metaphor, which I'm taking us off on a side tangent, which is not my intention. I just thinking about compassion for ourselves as an action and also just acknowledging that life is a curriculum and it's not that you're failing, it's that you're always learning and missteps-- Yeah.- Can be corrected as long as we continue to live and continue to learn. And that I'm finding that a very, I guess it is comforting'cause I feel like my shoulders are able to kind of lower a little bit, I'm able to breathe. Like my chest is a little bit-- Like "Oh, this is part of the point."- Right.- Got it. And it's not for the faint of heart. And at times some of the most important stuff, like that's a phrase I've really found useful around my moving to Senegal, around getting our business off the ground, it is not for the faint of heart, but that doesn't mean it's not worthwhile and sacred, and at times what's most sacred and worthwhile can really point out our areas of growth and/or need, that it might not be necessarily something that needs correcting, but a place in us that could use a bit more support.- Right.- In different ways. And actually those two things can actually be a bit of the same (indistinct), you know? But yeah, I love that.- Yeah, I'm really enjoying the book. I haven't gotten to the bit where you practice it at this point-- And if I'm going to be honest and brave, I would say, that's why I love it too, is that I love that it's a Jewish leader talking about a concept that I know from other traditions that I've very much have fully embraced. And I love that the Jewish person I learned it from of course, puts it in sort of an academic intellectual framing, instead of like soul path or soul journey or life lessons-- Right, it's curriculum.(Tracie laughing)- Right, you know, it's like, it's very Ashkenormative. It's going to be very studious and about learning and intellectualism on your spiritual journey. We're going to intellectualize our spirit. I'm joking now, intellectualize our spiritual evolution. But you know, but it's sweet, it makes me happy. And it brings me a sense of fullness.- I thought of you actually, while I was reading, there's a portion where he talks about Gam zu l'tovah also this is for the good, which is like a statement. It's like your, what you always say to me, like, I wonder what wonderful things will happen.- Yeah, all poo is fuel or fertilizer if we choose for it to be.- Right, so April says this to me, when something that feels bad happens, like she will say to me, like,"I wonder what wonderful things will come." And there's this tradition to say, whether it's good or bad to say like this, whatever this thing that has happened, which feels good or bad, I should rephrase that.- Yes.- It's to say gam zu l'tovah also this is for the good, and or-- And that's an even more, and that's more bold than my statement because mine is just, it's not saying you need to know that now, it's holding out the possibility and saying, I wonder, I'm gonna trust that something wonderful will come from this, I may not know what it is right now, but I'm gonna hold out. But this actually, that is even more, like I said, bold declaration.- Yeah, it's powerful.- Can you say it one more time?- Gam zu l'tovah- Gam zu l'tovah- It's just interesting how sometimes you look back and you'll see the things, and this is a little bit trivial, but not-- No.- A specific example that I wanna give, so we're upgrading to natural gas. So we have to have like a gas line put to our house and it goes right through where, when we moved into this house, there was this beautiful Japanese maple in the front yard that was part of the reason I fell in love with the house and it died. I mean, it just shriveled and died and we had to take it out and it was really heartbreaking. But now if we hadn't, we would have to do it now. And it would've been, it would've made it a lot harder for me to make this decision, to put the natural gas in, which is ultimately I think the right choice for us. So like looking back, I can see where as-- I like it.- Painful as it was to have that tree just kind of wither in the front yard, like gam zu l'tovah and now we can plant new, we have planted new Japanese maples around the yard. So anyway-- Yeah, I like that story. So I think actually we have a really juicy subject, that I'm going to foreshadow for you all from Yom Kippur about what I see at times among people and specifically our people, since I spend a lot of time with our beloved wonderful Jews as it relates to Racial Justice, and it also, I think this applies in life of at times I think they're obviously, but they're not all teshuvah is created equal and what Tracie and I want to discuss at our next episode, which Tracie is right, is actually perfect for Yom Kippur is what happens when teshuvah ends up being more than we signed up for. And how do we make certain decisions around some pretty harrowing work, at the times we, through our living, through the continued evolution of our world, around Racial Justice, we are being called to earnestly engage with, sometimes it's just sometimes the teshuvah work and/or healing work isn't necessarily tied to a mistake, but is tied to an undoing of painful patterns, when it's a lot and how do we stick with it and how do we keep it manageable. And still manage to move forward, so I'm excited for that topic. And I think I'd like us to take a few moments to end Tracie, and just wish you Tracie, and you, our listener a 5782 of sweetness of healing, of courageous honesty and of Shmita which Tracie and I, in another episode in the near future in the beginning of this new year are excited to share with you this year is a Shmita year for those who didn't already know, it's pretty actively talked about, but in case you're a listener who isn't as affiliated with mainstream Jewish life. We're coming up on an agricultural sabbatical year that also has interesting implications. And Tracie and I are very excited to parse this out and think through for ourselves and for our community, what are thoughtful, relevant ways of engaging with this from our vantage point in our conversation with each other, any Rosh Hashanah wishes or blessings that you want to give to our people.- Just, April, you covered most of it. I would just add for 5782, may you be safe and may you be whole.- Oh, that's so good. L'shana tovah- L'shana tovah Have a joyous and sweet new year. Love you. Thanks for tuning in. Our show's theme music was composed by Elliott Hammer. You can find this track and other beats on Instagram @elliothammer. If this episode resonated with you, please share it and subscribe. To join the conversation, visit jewstalkracialjustice.com, where you can send us a question or suggestion, access our show notes and learn more about our team. Take care until next time and stay humble and keep going.